The Beauty of Being ...

Twenty-five years ago, when my daughter who has special needs, was a newborn, someone gave me this attached story. It really moved me and altered my thinking.

I can also relate it to my dealing with multiple sclerosis. There is no doubt that it pertains to almost any disability or life-altering disease.

Take a moment to read it. See if you are as moved as I was. You may have to enlarge your monitor screen to read it.

"The Beauty of Holland"

"I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability-- to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this...

"When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous trip--to Italy! You buy a bunch of guidebooks and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You even learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

"After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The flight attendant comes in and says, 'Welcome to Holland.' 'Holland?!?', you say. 'What do you mean Holland? I signed up for Italy. I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy.'

"But there has been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay. The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

"So you must go out and buy new guide books and learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you never would have met. It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills. Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandt's.

"But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy, and they're all talking about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life you will say, 'Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned.'

"But if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't go to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things about Holland"

--Emily Perl Kingsley

Have Author Will Travel - Virtually!

    Writing with a disAbility can create many issues, which leads to creating new possibilities – sometimes even a “paradigm shift” in thinking.

    Recently, I was invited to be a guest author at a book club two hours away by car. Sitting in a car for two hours can be fatiguing and painful for me. Had I not had family living in the area, I may have graciously turned it down. But, I accepted and had a wonderful experience meeting and making new friends.

    Two interesting things came out of it (besides new friends):

    During the book club conversation, one of the members stated that she liked that I did not give distinct and detailed descriptions of my characters, but was still able to create a clear image in her head of that person. Another person agreed. Then, a member who was African-American stated that, in her mind, she saw all the characters as black. I loved this and thanked her. Why had it not occur to me that we see characters in our own image? I know for a fact that through a particular Facebook page, I have a large readership who is African-American.

    After I left, I played a game with myself imagining each character a different race. Some ethnicities did not lend themselves to these characters, but others did and it was a worthwhile experiment for me as an author - ever learning and growing as a writer.

    Secondly, right before I left for the book club, my sister had suggested I offer to Skype book clubs in other states. Then while at the meeting, someone suggested the same thing!

    It had never occurred to me to offer that. What a great idea. I can be a part of a book club meeting anywhere in or out of the USA (and not leave my home). Well, at least my face and voice can participate. Just sit me down on your coffee table. Now groups, with or without disabilities, can have me in their living room participating in a discussion of my novel. Fascinating and creative idea. What a great way to reach out to readers. In researching this idea, I found that it's not new. It's been around for a while, so my sister can't take full credit. But, it's new to me. Also, if you're technically-challenged, then I am available to speak with book clubs over the phone.

    I’m making this official: anyone wishing me to participate in their book club meeting contact me through my email at lauren@laurenbgrossman.com. No charge. Only prerequisite is that those present will have read “Once in Every Generation.” Otherwise, I’m going to look very foolish on your computer screen, twiddling my thumbs and humming to myself.